Movie scripts
SHOWBIZ OF THE WORLD
"Episode One - James - pilot"
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. LONDON SKYLINE - NIGHT
Establishing location shot - lightning
PAN SEVERAL LONDON NIGHTLIFE SPOTS - BIG BEN - HYDE PARK - OXFORD UNIVERSITY - WEMBLEY STADIUM
EXT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - NIGHT
Punters line up outside Fender’s Ballroom, tickets ready, & eager to go inside. They all represent alternative culture many wearing band t-shirts & smoking Camel cigarettes. None of them have cell phones. Skin heads, Mohicans, Afro, Mod, Hippies, Goths, Metalheads, Emo, Rastafarian, & hipsters make up this diverse drunken crowd.
A squad of air force pilots flyover Fender’s Ballroom. They look uninsured
The Marquee lights up & reads Live performance from Wet Leg, James, The Damned & Alexi Sayle.
NARRATOR (O.S.)
Tonight - from Fender’s Ballroom - Live music performance from Wet Leg, James & The Damned with special stand up comedy performance from Alexi Sayle
Now - On with the show
A scuffle breaks out between Mohicans & Skin heads. Skinheads where cutting que. The police drive up with their Ford Police van, jump out, & blow their police whistle breaking up the fight.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - NIGHT
Opening theme music - Fame by David Bowie
A bar scene with punters drinking beer, wine, whisky, whiskey & cocktails. Looks like a scene from Coyote Wild. Bustling. Many of these punters are look-a-like pop stars with Prince, Michael Jackson, Taylor Swift, Madonna, Bowie, & Elvis Presley front & center.
GLEN UGLY NAUGHTY AK GuN, 45 (The Fleiss T-shirt, ripped pants, overweight, died black hair)is bely to the bar with his entourage of friends, DELL, 30 something (ALF Shirt) MAC, 28 (TSR T-Shirt), MOE, MARY KAY, STANLEY FREEMAN, 65 (eccentric, bugle on back) AGENT COOPER, MIC OVERKILL & STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR, 54 (trans, makeup, Lamb Dress). They’re all there drinking & playing silly buggers.
Mary Kay hands Glen ugly Naughty AK GuN a vinyl record wrapped in GOV Wraps Happy Birthday design. GuN opens the GOV wrap & an Offspring record inside.
A sexy gothic waitress brings Glen ugly Naughty AK GuN a chocolate birthday cake with an Amazing Rainbow candle on top. Glen blows out the candles
A big advertising sign from sponsor Guinness Draught Beer dominates camera #1.
A pan across interior of Fender’s Ballroom shows the bar, the stage, the doors to the green room, bathroom, vending machine, & the wall of televisions playing music videos.
It’s apparent now that there is a DIY ethos to the show with technical difficulties, bad cuts, mic in frame, & blemishes throughout the show.
A camera shot reveals this production is run with students manning the cameras, sound board, & lights.
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
PAULINE, 24, (Black, Lamb Dress, Looks suspiciously like young Michelle Obama) has the mic on a stand on stage. The audience is cheering out
The stage is decorated with fresh produce, apple, bananas, kiwi, oranges, pineapple, coconuts, & Fresh Express salad kits. A sign on stage reads Tesco
On the side of the stage is an area where a special guest artist paints a picture of the band. This week is BOB ROSS manning the easel. These original oil paintings are auctioned off on the BBC website
PAULINE (HOSTESS)
Greetings, & welcome to the show. We’ve got an action packed house tonight with special guests from all over the United Kingdom.
We’ve got live musical performances from Wet Leg, James, The Damned & standup comedy with Alexia Sayle. But lets get the ball rolling with Mark Williams of Brilliant & Father Brown reading the Lords Prayer.
MARK WILLIAMS
Thank you. Whilst most television shows say Christianity is a bad religion, I says it’s great.
I get to play Father Brown on BBC & BritBox & welcome this once in a life opportunity to bless this television show with The Lord’s Prayer. Let us pray so this show is touched by the hand of God. (bows head)
Our father...
HIPPIE #1 (HECKLING)
If God is real. Explain the big bang theory then.
MARK WILLIAMS
Both theories are compatible. Ask a Theologian
METALHEAD #1 (HECKLING)
Friedrich Nietzsche said God is Dead. Explain that !!
MARK WILLIAMS
I’m just an actor. You’ll have to ask a philosopher that.
...who art in heaven
MOHICAN #1 (HECKLING)
Um...If God...
MARK WILLIAMS
Shut up !!!. Now everybody together, bless this television show with The Lords Prayer.
MARK WILLIAMS
Our Father who art inn heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be dun
on earth as it is inn heaven.
Give us this day our lifehood bread,
and forgive our trespasses,
as i forgive those who trespass against me,
& lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the powers, and the glory,
forever and ever.
Amen.
Applause
PAULINE
Well, it’s official, we're in on the business, & small business at that. Thank you Mark & everyone who prayed along with your blessing
Guys & Gals, Mark Williams.
Applause
PAULINE
Now he can sing a song or two, but he’s really known for his stand up comedy. Please welcome Alexi Sayle.
Alexi Sayle runs on to the stage as Pauline exists stage right.
The audience cheers & listens intensely.
ALEXI SAYLE
As an immigrant, a funny thing happened to me on the way to this show. Showbiz of the World
Alexi Sayle delivers 4 minutes of dynamic stand up comedy written by Ben Elton
ALEXI SAYLE
Thank you very much & all you fat bastards out there enjoy the rest of the show.
Pauline runs onto stage. Grabs Alexi
PAULINE CHASE (HOSTESS)
Thank you Alexi. A great performance & let’s mention your new vinyl record on Warner Music Group, WMG, called THIS MUCH STUFF - ESSENTIAL ALEXI. It’s already sold over 7,000 copies & you can pick up your copy from independent music retailers or websites like CurrentPhonograph.com
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT
The Green Room is full of guest band members eating fruit & passing around a box See’s Candies. They bee drinking Pepsi Cola, & coffee, eating Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King & staying sober until they mingle with the audience after the show. They sit on the couch & Tim Booth is on a La-Z-Boy chair. A news reporter called PAUL CHASE, 24, (twins with Pauline, Caucasian) from Showbiz of the World is interviewing Tim Booth from James on camera #4.
PAUL CHASE
We’ve got our live feed up & Tim, how excited are you to be a part of Showbiz of the World
TIM BOOTH
Very excited & I’m particularly looking forward to watching The Damned. I’ve known about them since I was a child.
PAUL CHASE
Big Takeover Magazine called you a phony. How do you respond to that
TIM BOOTH
James is real & very realistic band. Big Takeover Magazine can sample my sausage !!!
PAUL CHASE
There is talk of a new James album & tour. Can you comment on that
TIM BOOTH
It’s going to be released on vinyl soon & here are the tour dates. You can buy tickets from Ticketmaster
The James U.K Tour Dates appear on the television screen.
PAUL CHASE
Stay tuned and support the advertisers so we can keep this cool DIY music show on the air
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline on stage. She is holding the new vinyl record from James called Inside Faith
PAULINE
Live from our studio, & number 7 on Billboard chart countdown...James with their title track...Inside Faith
James play their new song (4 minutes long)
PAULINE
That was fantastic guys, can’t wait till that song reaches #1 on Billboard
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT
The Green Room is full of band members from The Damned Paul Chase is interviewing David Vanian.
PAUL CHASE
David, we’ve just had to eject a couple of Skinheads from Fenders Ballroom because they where clogging up the toilet with Charmin toilet paper. I caught them trousers down on video tape.
Roll tape...
A Sony CRT video monitor shows two skinheads pass Dell, Mac, & Moe on the urinals and run into the stall. Cam #4 (ENG Camera) follows these skinheads into the stall where they are stuffing tons of toilet paper into the toilet bowl. Then they flush & H2O pours out of the toilet flooding the bathroom. Dell gets soaked
DELL
Crap. Now I’ve got a wet leg.
The video footage ends -
DAVID VANIAN
Anarchy I say. Right on
..
PAUL CHASE
It’s ugly. The thing is I had to call security & get that pin head removed.
I bet you like skinheads !!!
DAVID VANIAN
Your Audacity. I hate them if they're racist Nazi’s. Most modern skinheads reject racism though. I’ve even seen black skinheads
PAUL CHASE
Cool. Can you talk about your new 7” vinyl record & book called Till Death Do USA Part
DAVID VANIAN
Yeah, our band decided to release our new single on vinyl cause we got ripped off by those streaming services. At least we earn a royalty per copy sold on vinyl.
PAUL CHASE
I bet they’re all sorts of mad exciting colors. Yellow, Pink, Green, Brown, Orange, purple...
DAVID VANIAN
They’re all black. All blacks
In addition, there will become an album avail be when we tour & a book tour at Barnes & Noble
PAUL CHASE
Mr. Shovel. Can you please bring those tour dates up on screen. Thank you
The Damned tour dates appear on screen
PAUL CHASE
You can buy tickets from Ticketmaster.
DAVID VANIAN
Bring hellfire on Ticketmaster
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
PAULINE
Speaking of wet legs, please welcome Wet Leg. This exclusive performance of No Time, No Love video taped on Showbiz of the World
Wet Leg play their new song (4 minutes long)
PAULINE
Amazing performance. Incredible. Very moving. You can pick up a copy of their new album No Time, No Love from Current Phonograph
Back after the adverts.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER'S BALLROOM - VENDING MACHINE
Stephen J Proctor Jr is standing next to an Eagle Gumball Machine for his PSA.
STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR
When you’re at your local venue, always look for an Atomic Gumball machine. Atomic Gumball machines say Eagle on the brand badge & have a charity your venue supports on the side.
Stephen takes out a coin & puts into the gumball machine, twists the dial & out pops a green gumball. Stephen then pops the gumball into his mouth.
STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR
This delicious gumball cost only 20p & this venue donated their portion of the profit to Stroke Research & Recovery. Yes, these gumballs could literally be life savers so buy one when your out.
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline is in stage. She is looking at the wall of CRT televisions.
PAULINE
Every week, our staff pick out potential blockbuster films we think you will enjoy.
Here’s my movie pick for the week from director Ron Howard, starring Harrison Ford & now playing throughout AMC movie theatres worldwide. It’s a film set in the South Pacific, 1943, called Battle Flask.
Roll tape
Plays movie trailer of Battle Flask- 2 minutes
Audience applause after the trailer.
PAULINE
Action packed. Get out & go to your local AMC theatres. Cinema is back baby.
Always remember F.Y.P, Finish Your Popcorn
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline on stage. She is holding the new vinyl record from The Damned called Eternal Damnation
PAULINE
A pioneer band since 1977 with their first punk rock demo, Please welcome The Damned with their new song called Eternal Damnation
The Damned play song - 4 minutes
PAULINE
That was fantastic gang. Clearly you’ve been practicing hard over decades. I like your Goth look.
Bob Ross walks on stage with his paintings
PAULINE
How did you do Bob? Did you get them all
BOB ROSS
I did great. I’ve lined my oil paintings up so you can view the art on camera #2. I got James live, Wet Leg live, & The Damned live. Light is my medium so there was plenty of that
Truck of Bob Ross’s artwork
PAULINE
And these original pop art oil paintings will go up for auction on www.bbc.co.uk this week I expect they will fetch a pretty penny
BOB ROSS
Thank you
Well that’s all on tonight’s show, make sure you tune in next week for another exciting episode featuring St. Vincent, Bob Dylan, & Nick Cave
PAULINE
As the producers & director rolls credits, everybody should check out this killer new music video from upstarts Millstone Gals currently inside unchartered territory.
Millstone Gals where recently featured in Razorcake Magazine
Plays music video - 2 minutes
Ending credits roll over music video
Picture of book on screen
NARRATOR
Get your book. Showbiz of The World hardcover book curated by Ben Elton has photo journalism, behind the scenes, personal essays, pictures, & interviews of painters, artists, bands & comedians you watch on Showbiz of The World. A great read. Only $19.99 from Target Stores
If you would like your free signed postcard
Please send requests & fan mail to
Showbiz of the World
Post Office BOX, London with SASE
We will let you know our post total next week
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW
"Episode One - James - pilot"
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. LONDON SKYLINE - NIGHT
Establishing location shot - lightning
PAN SEVERAL LONDON NIGHTLIFE SPOTS - BIG BEN - HYDE PARK - OXFORD UNIVERSITY - WEMBLEY STADIUM
EXT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - NIGHT
Punters line up outside Fender’s Ballroom, tickets ready, & eager to go inside. They all represent alternative culture many wearing band t-shirts & smoking Camel cigarettes. None of them have cell phones. Skin heads, Mohicans, Afro, Mod, Hippies, Goths, Metalheads, Emo, Rastafarian, & hipsters make up this diverse drunken crowd.
A squad of air force pilots flyover Fender’s Ballroom. They look uninsured
The Marquee lights up & reads Live performance from Wet Leg, James, The Damned & Alexi Sayle.
NARRATOR (O.S.)
Tonight - from Fender’s Ballroom - Live music performance from Wet Leg, James & The Damned with special stand up comedy performance from Alexi Sayle
Now - On with the show
A scuffle breaks out between Mohicans & Skin heads. Skinheads where cutting que. The police drive up with their Ford Police van, jump out, & blow their police whistle breaking up the fight.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - NIGHT
Opening theme music - Fame by David Bowie
A bar scene with punters drinking beer, wine, whisky, whiskey & cocktails. Looks like a scene from Coyote Wild. Bustling. Many of these punters are look-a-like pop stars with Prince, Michael Jackson, Taylor Swift, Madonna, Bowie, & Elvis Presley front & center.
GLEN UGLY NAUGHTY AK GuN, 45 (The Fleiss T-shirt, ripped pants, overweight, died black hair)is bely to the bar with his entourage of friends, DELL, 30 something (ALF Shirt) MAC, 28 (TSR T-Shirt), MOE, MARY KAY, STANLEY FREEMAN, 65 (eccentric, bugle on back) AGENT COOPER, MIC OVERKILL & STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR, 54 (trans, makeup, Lamb Dress). They’re all there drinking & playing silly buggers.
Mary Kay hands Glen ugly Naughty AK GuN a vinyl record wrapped in GOV Wraps Happy Birthday design. GuN opens the GOV wrap & an Offspring record inside.
A sexy gothic waitress brings Glen ugly Naughty AK GuN a chocolate birthday cake with an Amazing Rainbow candle on top. Glen blows out the candles
A big advertising sign from sponsor Guinness Draught Beer dominates camera #1.
A pan across interior of Fender’s Ballroom shows the bar, the stage, the doors to the green room, bathroom, vending machine, & the wall of televisions playing music videos.
It’s apparent now that there is a DIY ethos to the show with technical difficulties, bad cuts, mic in frame, & blemishes throughout the show.
A camera shot reveals this production is run with students manning the cameras, sound board, & lights.
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
PAULINE, 24, (Black, Lamb Dress, Looks suspiciously like young Michelle Obama) has the mic on a stand on stage. The audience is cheering out
The stage is decorated with fresh produce, apple, bananas, kiwi, oranges, pineapple, coconuts, & Fresh Express salad kits. A sign on stage reads Tesco
On the side of the stage is an area where a special guest artist paints a picture of the band. This week is BOB ROSS manning the easel. These original oil paintings are auctioned off on the BBC website
PAULINE (HOSTESS)
Greetings, & welcome to the show. We’ve got an action packed house tonight with special guests from all over the United Kingdom.
We’ve got live musical performances from Wet Leg, James, The Damned & standup comedy with Alexia Sayle. But lets get the ball rolling with Mark Williams of Brilliant & Father Brown reading the Lords Prayer.
MARK WILLIAMS
Thank you. Whilst most television shows say Christianity is a bad religion, I says it’s great.
I get to play Father Brown on BBC & BritBox & welcome this once in a life opportunity to bless this television show with The Lord’s Prayer. Let us pray so this show is touched by the hand of God. (bows head)
Our father...
HIPPIE #1 (HECKLING)
If God is real. Explain the big bang theory then.
MARK WILLIAMS
Both theories are compatible. Ask a Theologian
METALHEAD #1 (HECKLING)
Friedrich Nietzsche said God is Dead. Explain that !!
MARK WILLIAMS
I’m just an actor. You’ll have to ask a philosopher that.
...who art in heaven
MOHICAN #1 (HECKLING)
Um...If God...
MARK WILLIAMS
Shut up !!!. Now everybody together, bless this television show with The Lords Prayer.
MARK WILLIAMS
Our Father who art inn heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be dun
on earth as it is inn heaven.
Give us this day our lifehood bread,
and forgive our trespasses,
as i forgive those who trespass against me,
& lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the powers, and the glory,
forever and ever.
Amen.
Applause
PAULINE
Well, it’s official, we're in on the business, & small business at that. Thank you Mark & everyone who prayed along with your blessing
Guys & Gals, Mark Williams.
Applause
PAULINE
Now he can sing a song or two, but he’s really known for his stand up comedy. Please welcome Alexi Sayle.
Alexi Sayle runs on to the stage as Pauline exists stage right.
The audience cheers & listens intensely.
ALEXI SAYLE
As an immigrant, a funny thing happened to me on the way to this show. Showbiz of the World
Alexi Sayle delivers 4 minutes of dynamic stand up comedy written by Ben Elton
ALEXI SAYLE
Thank you very much & all you fat bastards out there enjoy the rest of the show.
Pauline runs onto stage. Grabs Alexi
PAULINE CHASE (HOSTESS)
Thank you Alexi. A great performance & let’s mention your new vinyl record on Warner Music Group, WMG, called THIS MUCH STUFF - ESSENTIAL ALEXI. It’s already sold over 7,000 copies & you can pick up your copy from independent music retailers or websites like CurrentPhonograph.com
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT
The Green Room is full of guest band members eating fruit & passing around a box See’s Candies. They bee drinking Pepsi Cola, & coffee, eating Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King & staying sober until they mingle with the audience after the show. They sit on the couch & Tim Booth is on a La-Z-Boy chair. A news reporter called PAUL CHASE, 24, (twins with Pauline, Caucasian) from Showbiz of the World is interviewing Tim Booth from James on camera #4.
PAUL CHASE
We’ve got our live feed up & Tim, how excited are you to be a part of Showbiz of the World
TIM BOOTH
Very excited & I’m particularly looking forward to watching The Damned. I’ve known about them since I was a child.
PAUL CHASE
Big Takeover Magazine called you a phony. How do you respond to that
TIM BOOTH
James is real & very realistic band. Big Takeover Magazine can sample my sausage !!!
PAUL CHASE
There is talk of a new James album & tour. Can you comment on that
TIM BOOTH
It’s going to be released on vinyl soon & here are the tour dates. You can buy tickets from Ticketmaster
The James U.K Tour Dates appear on the television screen.
PAUL CHASE
Stay tuned and support the advertisers so we can keep this cool DIY music show on the air
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline on stage. She is holding the new vinyl record from James called Inside Faith
PAULINE
Live from our studio, & number 7 on Billboard chart countdown...James with their title track...Inside Faith
James play their new song (4 minutes long)
PAULINE
That was fantastic guys, can’t wait till that song reaches #1 on Billboard
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - GREEN ROOM - NIGHT
The Green Room is full of band members from The Damned Paul Chase is interviewing David Vanian.
PAUL CHASE
David, we’ve just had to eject a couple of Skinheads from Fenders Ballroom because they where clogging up the toilet with Charmin toilet paper. I caught them trousers down on video tape.
Roll tape...
A Sony CRT video monitor shows two skinheads pass Dell, Mac, & Moe on the urinals and run into the stall. Cam #4 (ENG Camera) follows these skinheads into the stall where they are stuffing tons of toilet paper into the toilet bowl. Then they flush & H2O pours out of the toilet flooding the bathroom. Dell gets soaked
DELL
Crap. Now I’ve got a wet leg.
The video footage ends -
DAVID VANIAN
Anarchy I say. Right on
..
PAUL CHASE
It’s ugly. The thing is I had to call security & get that pin head removed.
I bet you like skinheads !!!
DAVID VANIAN
Your Audacity. I hate them if they're racist Nazi’s. Most modern skinheads reject racism though. I’ve even seen black skinheads
PAUL CHASE
Cool. Can you talk about your new 7” vinyl record & book called Till Death Do USA Part
DAVID VANIAN
Yeah, our band decided to release our new single on vinyl cause we got ripped off by those streaming services. At least we earn a royalty per copy sold on vinyl.
PAUL CHASE
I bet they’re all sorts of mad exciting colors. Yellow, Pink, Green, Brown, Orange, purple...
DAVID VANIAN
They’re all black. All blacks
In addition, there will become an album avail be when we tour & a book tour at Barnes & Noble
PAUL CHASE
Mr. Shovel. Can you please bring those tour dates up on screen. Thank you
The Damned tour dates appear on screen
PAUL CHASE
You can buy tickets from Ticketmaster.
DAVID VANIAN
Bring hellfire on Ticketmaster
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
PAULINE
Speaking of wet legs, please welcome Wet Leg. This exclusive performance of No Time, No Love video taped on Showbiz of the World
Wet Leg play their new song (4 minutes long)
PAULINE
Amazing performance. Incredible. Very moving. You can pick up a copy of their new album No Time, No Love from Current Phonograph
Back after the adverts.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. FENDER'S BALLROOM - VENDING MACHINE
Stephen J Proctor Jr is standing next to an Eagle Gumball Machine for his PSA.
STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR
When you’re at your local venue, always look for an Atomic Gumball machine. Atomic Gumball machines say Eagle on the brand badge & have a charity your venue supports on the side.
Stephen takes out a coin & puts into the gumball machine, twists the dial & out pops a green gumball. Stephen then pops the gumball into his mouth.
STEPHEN J PROCTOR JR
This delicious gumball cost only 20p & this venue donated their portion of the profit to Stroke Research & Recovery. Yes, these gumballs could literally be life savers so buy one when your out.
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline is in stage. She is looking at the wall of CRT televisions.
PAULINE
Every week, our staff pick out potential blockbuster films we think you will enjoy.
Here’s my movie pick for the week from director Ron Howard, starring Harrison Ford & now playing throughout AMC movie theatres worldwide. It’s a film set in the South Pacific, 1943, called Battle Flask.
Roll tape
Plays movie trailer of Battle Flask- 2 minutes
Audience applause after the trailer.
PAULINE
Action packed. Get out & go to your local AMC theatres. Cinema is back baby.
Always remember F.Y.P, Finish Your Popcorn
INT. FENDER’S BALLROOM - STAGE - NIGHT
Pauline on stage. She is holding the new vinyl record from The Damned called Eternal Damnation
PAULINE
A pioneer band since 1977 with their first punk rock demo, Please welcome The Damned with their new song called Eternal Damnation
The Damned play song - 4 minutes
PAULINE
That was fantastic gang. Clearly you’ve been practicing hard over decades. I like your Goth look.
Bob Ross walks on stage with his paintings
PAULINE
How did you do Bob? Did you get them all
BOB ROSS
I did great. I’ve lined my oil paintings up so you can view the art on camera #2. I got James live, Wet Leg live, & The Damned live. Light is my medium so there was plenty of that
Truck of Bob Ross’s artwork
PAULINE
And these original pop art oil paintings will go up for auction on www.bbc.co.uk this week I expect they will fetch a pretty penny
BOB ROSS
Thank you
Well that’s all on tonight’s show, make sure you tune in next week for another exciting episode featuring St. Vincent, Bob Dylan, & Nick Cave
PAULINE
As the producers & director rolls credits, everybody should check out this killer new music video from upstarts Millstone Gals currently inside unchartered territory.
Millstone Gals where recently featured in Razorcake Magazine
Plays music video - 2 minutes
Ending credits roll over music video
Picture of book on screen
NARRATOR
Get your book. Showbiz of The World hardcover book curated by Ben Elton has photo journalism, behind the scenes, personal essays, pictures, & interviews of painters, artists, bands & comedians you watch on Showbiz of The World. A great read. Only $19.99 from Target Stores
If you would like your free signed postcard
Please send requests & fan mail to
Showbiz of the World
Post Office BOX, London with SASE
We will let you know our post total next week
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW
72 Hours - Feature film script
This is an ongoing movie script about The Fondled & The Fleiss. Contact GuN is you would like 2 contribute or have ideas...
ACT 1
EXT. UNION STATION - LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
An Amtrack train pulls up at the station and slows down to a stop. A small crowd awaits friends and family to welcome them to Los Angeles
LOUD SPEAKER (O.S.)
Welcome to Los Angeles. Please enjoy your stay
GLEN NAUGHTY steps off the train. He is alone and carries a large backpack with patches of all his many travels sewn on the bag’s fabric.
Glen adjusts his glasses, looks at his map and walks towards the train station bar & grill whose sign reads “The Little Caboose”. He dusts his feet then walks inside the door.
INT. THE LITTLE CABOOSE - NIGHT
Glen see’s a dive bar vibe. He walks past am empty pool table spinning the eight ball with his right hand. He then walks up to the bar, next to KURT, checks his wallet, pulls out a ten dollar bill, and waves down the bar maid
BARMAID #!
What can I get for you sweetheart?
GLEN
I’ll have a pint of Guinness, thank you.
The bar maid pulls a pint of GUINNESS as Glen walks over to the JUKEBOX. He is impressed as the jukebox is old fashioned and plays 45 rpm vinyl records.
He flicks though the play list, puts in a few coins, and selects AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells. He then returns to the bar to find his drink ready.
Glen licks his lips then takes a sip of his Guinness.
The barmaid rings up his total and then hands Glen back his change
GLEN
Thank you.
BARMAID #!
You’re welcome. Here’s your change
Glen puts the change in his pocket, stiffing the bar maid, who scowls.
Kurt sees the scowl on the barmaid, he turns to Glen
KURT
Tips!
GLEN
Wot?
KURT
Tips. This is the United States, everybody works for tips!
GLEN
Fuck I’m sorry. I forgot. I just arrived from...
Glen reaches inside his pocket, fumbles about, & returns the change to the bar maid. She looks pleased
KURT
Let me guess. London
Glen shakes his head negatively
KURT
Australia, then...
Another negative shake
KURT
Wales...Scotland...South Africa...India...Well You’re not American!
GLEN
You where close with Australia
KURT
New Zealand then cunt
GLEN
Bingo. New Zealand
KURT
Right on. Another sheep shagger kiwi. Welcome to Los Angeles. I’m an out of towner too. Gig tonight at the Staples Center, you should go.
GLEN
We’ll let me call my friends on the pay phone & see if they can go too
KURT
No time. I’ve gotta get out of here now and sound check. So now your out of luck.
GLEN
Wot is the name of your band?
KURT
Nirvana! Ha Ha
GLEN
Hey! I’ve heard of you guys. I just didn’t recognize your face. I’ve been thinking about starting a band too...you know, with my friends.
KURT
You should call yourself The Fondled
GLEN
Maybe...I Can play a little Bass, three chords like The Ramones
KURT
Here’s my refrigerator magnet card with my phone number. Once you’ve practiced, and your great, first class, then give me a call and I’ll give you an opening spot at the Staples Center. I like helping out local bands
GLEN
I think you’re full of shit!
Kurt picks up his gear, a guitar, ready to leave
KURT
Call me once you’ve got your band ready. This is Hollywood, anything is possible.
Kurt finishes off his glass of wine, stubs out his CAMEL cigarette, then walks out the door carrying his FENDER guitar.
Glen attracts the attention of Barmaid by waving his hands
GLEN
Do you have a phone? I need to make a call.
BARMAID #!
There’s a pay phone outside
GLEN
EXT. UNION STATION - LOS ANGELES - NIGHT
An Amtrack train pulls up at the station and slows down to a stop. A small crowd awaits friends and family to welcome them to Los Angeles
LOUD SPEAKER (O.S.)
Welcome to Los Angeles. Please enjoy your stay
GLEN NAUGHTY steps off the train. He is alone and carries a large backpack with patches of all his many travels sewn on the bag’s fabric.
Glen adjusts his glasses, looks at his map and walks towards the train station bar & grill whose sign reads “The Little Caboose”. He dusts his feet then walks inside the door.
INT. THE LITTLE CABOOSE - NIGHT
Glen see’s a dive bar vibe. He walks past am empty pool table spinning the eight ball with his right hand. He then walks up to the bar, next to KURT, checks his wallet, pulls out a ten dollar bill, and waves down the bar maid
BARMAID #!
What can I get for you sweetheart?
GLEN
I’ll have a pint of Guinness, thank you.
The bar maid pulls a pint of GUINNESS as Glen walks over to the JUKEBOX. He is impressed as the jukebox is old fashioned and plays 45 rpm vinyl records.
He flicks though the play list, puts in a few coins, and selects AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells. He then returns to the bar to find his drink ready.
Glen licks his lips then takes a sip of his Guinness.
The barmaid rings up his total and then hands Glen back his change
GLEN
Thank you.
BARMAID #!
You’re welcome. Here’s your change
Glen puts the change in his pocket, stiffing the bar maid, who scowls.
Kurt sees the scowl on the barmaid, he turns to Glen
KURT
Tips!
GLEN
Wot?
KURT
Tips. This is the United States, everybody works for tips!
GLEN
Fuck I’m sorry. I forgot. I just arrived from...
Glen reaches inside his pocket, fumbles about, & returns the change to the bar maid. She looks pleased
KURT
Let me guess. London
Glen shakes his head negatively
KURT
Australia, then...
Another negative shake
KURT
Wales...Scotland...South Africa...India...Well You’re not American!
GLEN
You where close with Australia
KURT
New Zealand then cunt
GLEN
Bingo. New Zealand
KURT
Right on. Another sheep shagger kiwi. Welcome to Los Angeles. I’m an out of towner too. Gig tonight at the Staples Center, you should go.
GLEN
We’ll let me call my friends on the pay phone & see if they can go too
KURT
No time. I’ve gotta get out of here now and sound check. So now your out of luck.
GLEN
Wot is the name of your band?
KURT
Nirvana! Ha Ha
GLEN
Hey! I’ve heard of you guys. I just didn’t recognize your face. I’ve been thinking about starting a band too...you know, with my friends.
KURT
You should call yourself The Fondled
GLEN
Maybe...I Can play a little Bass, three chords like The Ramones
KURT
Here’s my refrigerator magnet card with my phone number. Once you’ve practiced, and your great, first class, then give me a call and I’ll give you an opening spot at the Staples Center. I like helping out local bands
GLEN
I think you’re full of shit!
Kurt picks up his gear, a guitar, ready to leave
KURT
Call me once you’ve got your band ready. This is Hollywood, anything is possible.
Kurt finishes off his glass of wine, stubs out his CAMEL cigarette, then walks out the door carrying his FENDER guitar.
Glen attracts the attention of Barmaid by waving his hands
GLEN
Do you have a phone? I need to make a call.
BARMAID #!
There’s a pay phone outside
GLEN
Thank you
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